Hospice

The first time I ever even heard about Hospice was this Thursday when my friend Kate told me that it was the best thing that ever happened to her family. To me it is both the worst and the best. It's the worst because it means that this is actually happening and the best because someone other than mom is there to make sure that my father is comfortable, my mother has a helping hand and that it all goes smoothly. My father's wish is to stay out of the hospital and enjoy the rest of his life at peace in his Vermont home and he is being so brave. For those of you who don't know, Hospice is the program that makes that wish come true by sending nurses and doctors into your home who help you deal with pain (heavy duty medication) and absolutely everything else that comes along with this process. They even have volunteers who come for 2 hours a day to make sure that my Mom does things for herself. Apparently it is very important for my father to see that my mom continues to do things for herself to show that she will go on. Dad is worried that my mom might go into shock when she sees how much things cost. He said she is in a financial time warp - just like her mom was. Amy, our visiting nurse/angel from heaven, explained to us what we should expect to happen as Marc, Mom, dad and I all listened and tried to not break down which I have to say was not easy. Amy explained that my father will eventually go in and out of memories and she told us that when that happens we should just go with it , try to laugh and not correct him. She also said that patients wait to see their family and it is a time when all family conflicts are resolved and that he has to feel like everyone will be set. No worries there - we love each other and all get along well and will never be homeless. Marc and I said after she left that it was probably the most profound thing we ever heard even though we didn't hear everything in our heads. She gave us a list of stuff Dad needs and Marc spent 4 hours getting everything on that list including the ice cream he wanted. Today I spent a few hours hanging out on Dad's bed tape recording his memories and it was heaven. Then mom and I spent an hour sitting on the porch on the most beautiful day of the year just bonding. This is the first time in 8 years that I have been here without my kids. I could not be prouder of both of my parents - they are my rock and inspiration. How many people do you know who actually want to grow up to be just like their mother? Yes please! xoxo Suze